Have you noticed that certain team members struggle to get along and cause conflict within the wider team?

In my years of working as an Executive Coach & Neuroscience Practitioner, this is common in the workplace. Everyone has emotional reactions (and yes, even if outwardly people are hiding it, there are internal emotional reactions happening which are coming across in non-verbal communication most likely) and the tendency is to blame the other person or the external situation for the feeling.

What many leaders don’t realise is that these emotional triggers, rather than causing issues, can provide an abundance of opportunities for learning and development. Because resistance to an idea or person is usually a sign to look at something closer. 

In the last few years, facing & flipping triggers rather than running away from them is a skill that, when I coach executives, takes leaders to the next level of emotional intelligence because self-management is one of the key pillars of it. 

It’s crucial for navigating conflict, negotiation and achieving useful outcomes.

If you’re interested in learning more about how I work with executives to hone their skills in this area, submit an enquiry via the Contact Form.

Here’s why triggers are good for the team.

Triggers give team members deeper insight into themselves

No-one can make another person feel something that they don’t already feel on some level.

So, when leaders start to pay attention to the types of situations and behaviours that trigger them, it gives them clues about what they need to address internally to uplevel their emotional intelligence (one of the keys to superstar leadership).

For example, let’s say a leader becomes frustrated and insecure if they are left out of a meeting or decision. Instead of resorting to blame, they could identify the reason why they are feeling that frustration – perhaps, the feeling of being excluded reminds them of the feeling of being “left out” as a younger adult or child.

When they understand this, they are more equipped to deal with the current situation at hand rationally. Did they really need to be at the meeting or is it just about “feeling important”? 

Whatever the situation, the more emotionally triggered leaders get by it, the less able they will be to think rationally about how they could successfully resolve it. So, getting the emotions out of the way first, in a healthy way, is key.

If your leadership team needs help mastering their internal world, so they make better, more profitable decisions under pressure, submit an inquiry using the Contact Form.

Being challenged is a chance to develop critical thinking

If challenges tend to cause problems in the team, it can instead be used as a pathway to improve critical thinking.

Most people if left to their own devices will result to “groupthink”. This means that certain assumptions, ways of doing things or processes will often just carry on, without anyone stopping to question whether they are really the best thing to do.

This is particularly problematic in a rapidly changing business environment.

Pushback or resistance when someone suggests something new is a chance for leaders to reflect and question themselves.

Is the team sticking to something because they know (intuitively and rationally) that that is the right thing to do?

Or are they clinging onto something because it feels safe, certain or known?

If it is the latter, rather than people “protecting their corner”, it may be time to go back to first principle thinking, in order to come up with a better solution.

Leaders develop The Self Transforming Mind

This idea was coined by Harvard Professor, Robert Kegan. Defined as “the ability to make space for new ideas within a framework, to accept that ideas and situations evolve”.

This mindset allows leaders to meet and welcome challenges and challenging people and learn from them. The self-transforming mind thinks in terms of “how does this new learning fit into my current thinking?”

It thinks “and” not “but”.

Why is this important? Because even if the outcome does not change as a result of the new information, it invariably leads to a more robust, well thought out solution.

However, in order to really practice this concept, leaders must make sure that they don’t let their emotional reactions get in the way.

This was originally published on Medium and can be accessed by clicking here

If your organisation would benefit from executives who don’t let emotions get in the way of their decision making, performance or collaboration at work, then make sure to drop me a message through the Contact Form on my listing at The Expert Services Directory.